WHEN ARE MST SURVIVORS GOING TO BE PAID FOR WHAT WAS DONE TO US?
The Rape Was Only the Beginning. Where Is the Restitution for the Retaliation, Victim-Blaming, Shame, and Emotional Abuse?
By Julie Jewels Smoot United States Navy Veteran | Military Sexual Trauma Survivor | Author Honey Badger | Sound Alchemist
I Have a Question for the United States Government
When are military sexual trauma survivors going to receive restitution for what happened to us?
And I do not mean another speech.
I do not mean another awareness campaign.
I do not mean another military sexual trauma brochure.
I mean financial restitution for the sexual violence, the betrayal, the retaliation, the victim-blaming, the humiliation, and the emotional abuse that followed.
When are we going to be compensated back to the day we were raped?
When are we going to be compensated for the years we spent living with the consequences?
When are we going to be compensated for what happened when we tried to speak up and the people in our chain of command failed to protect us?
Because I have something to say.
The rape was not the end of what happened to us.
For some of us, it was the beginning of another nightmare.
And that nightmare involved the very military leadership that was supposed to protect us.
The Assault Was One Injury. The Betrayal Was Another.
I served in the United States Navy.
I served aboard the USS Ronald Reagan.
I performed my duties.
I fulfilled my responsibilities.
And I experienced sexual violence during my military service.
But the sexual violence was not the only thing I had to survive.
There was the victim-blaming.
There was the shaming.
There was the retaliation.
There was the emotional abuse.
There was the experience of being treated as though speaking up was somehow worse than what had been done to me.
Think about that.
A service member experiences sexual violence, and instead of receiving protection, compassion, and accountability, that person may find themselves facing hostility from the very people responsible for their welfare.
What does that do to someone?
What happens when the people wearing the same uniform become part of the harm?
What happens when the chain of command becomes another source of fear?
Who pays for that damage?
Who is held accountable for the humiliation?
Who answers for the emotional abuse?
And who compensates the survivor for the years spent trying to rebuild a sense of safety?
Why Does the Date of Our Disability Claim Matter More Than the Date We Were Harmed?
Here is something that infuriates me.
Under the general VA disability compensation rules, the effective date of an award is often based on when a veteran filed a claim, rather than when the original injury occurred.
But military sexual trauma does not begin affecting someone's life on the day they submit paperwork.
It begins when the trauma occurs.
The consequences can begin immediately.
They may continue during military service.
They may follow someone into civilian life.
And they may remain for decades.
So why should the date a survivor finally feels able to file a disability claim determine how much retroactive compensation they receive?
What about the years before that claim?
What about the years when someone was afraid to speak?
What about the years spent trying to survive?
What about the veterans who did not report because they feared retaliation?
What about those who were blamed, shamed, or threatened into silence?
The harm did not begin when the VA opened a file.
The harm began when the assault happened.
I believe restitution should recognize that reality.
Pay Us Back to the Day We Were Raped
Yes. I said it.
I believe military sexual trauma survivors should be eligible for retroactive restitution dating back to the assault itself.
Not simply to the date a claim was filed.
Not simply to the date someone finally received a diagnosis.
Not simply to the date the VA acknowledged that a disability was connected to military service.
I am talking about recognizing the original injury and its consequences.
For assaults that occurred during active service, that would require a restitution framework beyond the ordinary rules for VA disability benefits.
And I believe that possibility deserves serious consideration.
Because survivors should not lose recognition of years of harm simply because it took years to disclose what happened.
Trauma can affect someone's ability to report.
Fear can silence people.
Shame can silence people.
Retaliation can silence people.
And institutional betrayal can make seeking help feel dangerous.
Why should those realities leave survivors with less financial recognition of the harm they experienced?
Where Is the Compensation for Victim-Blaming?
I want to talk about something that does not receive nearly enough attention.
Victim-blaming.
The questions.
The suspicion.
The insinuations.
The implication that the survivor somehow caused what happened.
The way a person's character can become the subject of scrutiny while the violence itself gets pushed into the background.
What does that do to someone who has already experienced sexual assault?
It can deepen shame.
It can damage trust.
It can make someone question whether telling the truth was worth the consequences.
And it can leave emotional wounds that last for years.
I want to know why victim-blaming by military leadership is not treated as a serious, independently recognizable harm when restitution is considered.
Because the person who was assaulted should never have been made responsible for the violence committed against them.
We were not responsible for being raped.
We were not responsible for another person's decision to violate our bodies.
And we should never have been punished for speaking about it.
Where Is the Compensation for Retaliation?
Now let's talk about retaliation.
Because this is where my anger gets even louder.
A service member reports sexual violence.
And instead of receiving support, that person may experience hostility, damaged professional relationships, threats to their career, or other forms of retaliation.
That is not simply an unpleasant workplace experience.
That can affect someone's entire future.
Military service is not an ordinary job.
The chain of command has enormous influence over a service member's daily life, assignments, evaluations, and professional opportunities.
When that authority is misused against a survivor, the consequences can be devastating.
A survivor may lose opportunities.
A survivor may lose confidence in leadership.
A survivor may become isolated.
A survivor may carry the psychological consequences long after leaving the military.
I want restitution systems to recognize these harms, including documented financial losses, career damage, and emotional suffering.
If a survivor was retaliated against for reporting sexual violence, why should the survivor carry the consequences while the institution avoids meaningful accountability?
Where Is the Compensation for Emotional Abuse by the Chain of Command?
I want to ask another question.
When are we going to acknowledge what happens when military leadership contributes to a survivor's trauma?
Not every injury leaves a visible scar.
Not every form of abuse involves physical contact.
Sometimes the damage comes from being humiliated.
Sometimes it comes from being disbelieved.
Sometimes it comes from having your character questioned.
Sometimes it comes from being treated as a problem because you refused to remain silent.
And sometimes the deepest betrayal comes from realizing that the people who were supposed to protect you were unwilling to do so.
That kind of experience can fundamentally change how someone views authority, safety, and trust.
I know what it is like to carry the consequences of sexual violence and institutional betrayal.
And I am tired of seeing those experiences treated as secondary concerns.
The chain of command had responsibilities to us.
When those responsibilities were violated, that failure should matter.
It should matter in investigations.
It should matter in accountability.
And it should matter when restitution is considered.
Disability Compensation Is Not the Same as Restitution
Let me make something very clear.
I am a 100 percent service-connected disabled veteran.
I receive VA disability compensation.
But disability compensation and restitution are not the same thing.
Disability compensation addresses qualifying service-connected disabilities and their effects on earning capacity.
Restitution is about recognizing and addressing the wrong itself and the losses it caused.
Those are different questions.
One asks how a disability affects a veteran.
The other asks what harm was inflicted, who was responsible, and what meaningful redress is owed.
I believe survivors deserve a serious national conversation about both.
Because a monthly disability payment does not erase the assault.
It does not undo the retaliation.
It does not restore lost years.
It does not reverse the humiliation.
And it does not automatically hold anyone accountable for what happened.
A disability rating is not an apology.
A compensation check is not accountability.
And being recognized as disabled does not mean the original injustice has been fully addressed.
What About the Years We Lost?
What about the careers that changed?
What about the relationships that suffered?
What about the years spent struggling with PTSD?
What about the medical appointments?
What about the therapy?
What about the financial consequences?
What about the time spent trying to understand why the people who should have protected us did not?
What about the years when our nervous systems struggled to feel safe?
What about the opportunities we might have pursued if we had not been carrying the consequences of sexual violence?
No amount of money can return every lost opportunity.
No payment can undo an assault.
But that does not mean financial restitution is meaningless.
It can acknowledge losses.
It can provide practical support.
It can recognize that survivors should not be expected to carry every financial consequence alone.
And it can be one part of a broader system of accountability.
We Need More Than Another Awareness Campaign
I want meaningful action.
I want the experiences of MST survivors taken seriously.
I want independent scrutiny of retaliation and abuse by military leadership.
I want fair opportunities for survivors to present evidence of what happened.
I want restitution that recognizes the original assault and the harms that followed.
I want the financial consequences of trauma examined rather than dismissed.
And I want survivors to have meaningful access to healthcare outside environments where they have experienced additional trauma.
There are difficult legal and practical questions involved.
How should claims be evaluated?
How should evidence be considered when assaults were never officially reported?
How should retaliation and career losses be documented?
How should restitution interact with existing disability benefits?
Those questions deserve thoughtful answers.
They should not become excuses to avoid the conversation entirely.
The Military Expected Accountability From Me
When I served in the United States Navy, I was expected to follow regulations.
I was expected to perform my duties.
I was expected to meet standards.
I was expected to take responsibility for my actions.
And I did.
So I have a question.
Why shouldn't the institutions responsible for protecting service members be held to meaningful standards of accountability when survivors are harmed?
Why should a survivor have to spend decades carrying the consequences while struggling to obtain recognition?
Why should the burden of explaining, documenting, and reliving the experience fall so heavily on the person who was harmed?
Why should the financial consequences of institutional failures remain largely with the survivor?
These are questions I am no longer willing to keep quiet about.
I Am Not Asking Anyone to Put a Price on My Body
Let me be very clear.
I am not suggesting that my body has a price.
It does not.
My dignity was never for sale.
My consent was never negotiable.
And no amount of money could make what happened acceptable.
Restitution is not payment for permission to harm someone.
It is recognition that a wrong occurred and that the consequences deserve meaningful redress.
I want that distinction understood.
Survivors are not asking to sell their suffering.
We are asking why the costs of that suffering have so often been left for us to carry.
I Am Done Being Quiet About This
I have spent years finding my voice.
I have written books.
I have composed music.
I have written poetry.
I have spoken about military sexual trauma, consent, boundaries, and the importance of reclaiming personal sovereignty.
I have worked to create a life that belongs to me.
But healing does not mean I have to stop asking for accountability.
Being grounded does not mean I have to remain silent.
And being a Sound Alchemist does not mean I have forgotten the woman who served aboard the USS Ronald Reagan.
CS3(SW) is still part of me.
Author Honey Badger is still part of me.
The survivor is still part of me.
The poet, composer, and Sound Alchemist are all part of me.
And today, those parts of me are asking the same questions.
WHEN ARE MST SURVIVORS GOING TO RECEIVE RESTITUTION?
When are we going to be compensated for the years of harm?
When are we going to be compensated for retaliation?
When are we going to be compensated for victim-blaming and shaming?
When are we going to be compensated for emotional abuse by those entrusted with leadership?
And when will the original date of the assault matter in determining what survivors are owed?
We Deserve More Than Recognition. We Deserve Accountability.
Tomorrow is Veterans Day.
There will be ceremonies.
There will be speeches.
There will be people thanking veterans for their service.
But I want people to think about the veterans whose service included sexual violence and betrayal.
The women and men who carried those experiences home.
The survivors who struggled for years before they could speak.
The veterans whose careers, health, relationships, and financial security were affected.
I want people to think about what meaningful restitution could look like.
And I want the conversation to continue long after the flags are put away.
Because I served my country.
I fulfilled my responsibilities.
And I should not have had to endure sexual violence, victim-blaming, retaliation, or emotional abuse.
The assault mattered.
The retaliation mattered.
The humiliation mattered.
The years of suffering mattered.
And the financial consequences matter.
I am not asking for another empty promise.
I am asking for serious consideration of restitution that recognizes the full scope of what survivors experienced.
Our trauma did not begin on the day we filed a VA claim.
Our losses did not begin on the day someone approved a disability rating.
And our right to seek accountability did not disappear because years passed.
So I will ask again.
WHEN ARE MST SURVIVORS GOING TO BE PAID FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO US?
And when will the institutions responsible for our protection fully confront the consequences of what happened when that protection failed?
I am Julie Jewels Smoot.
United States Navy veteran.
CS3(SW).
Military sexual trauma survivor.
Author Honey Badger.
Sound Alchemist.
And I am not finished asking these questions.
Our silence was never consent.
Our survival does not erase the harm.
And our stories deserve more than another thank-you for our service.
Julie Jewels Smoot is a United States Navy veteran, military sexual trauma survivor, Sound Alchemist, composer, poet, and author. Her writing addresses military sexual trauma, institutional betrayal, consent, survivor dignity, personal sovereignty, and the importance of accountability.
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