Julie Jewels Smoot

Someone may believe we should be ready to talk about an experience. Someone may encourage us to participate in an activity. Someone may suggest that we need to move beyond a particular fear.

Listening without absorbing is not a refusal to feel. It is a way of honoring feeling without confusing it for ownership. The space after holding matters because care does not end when the visible exchange ends. The listener also needs to be held by ground, breath, sound, and simple return.

If someone sees us awake, they may assume we are ready to talk. If we are sitting quietly, they may assume we have nothing else to do. If we do not immediately respond, they may wonder whether something is wrong.

Connection with my body. Connection with my mind. Connection with my emotions. Connection with my spirit.

We learn to answer when someone calls. We learn to listen when someone wants to talk. We learn to make ourselves available, even when we are exhausted, overwhelmed, or simply longing for silence. Somewhere along the way, we may begin believing that being a good person means always being accessible.